Four Secrets
by DoARainDance
Summary: In the Marauder's seventh year, the secrecy begins. Innocent secrets, secrets of young men, afraid to share. Secrets which will turn into a rift which will eventually break the four friends apart forever.


Four Secrets.

**A/N: This story starts in the summer before the Marauder's seventh year at Hogwarts, Sirius has moved out of the Potter's house and into his own flat. I hope you enjoy it, please leave a review.**

Prologue.

"Mr. Lupin, Mrs. Lupin, Remus," Healer Collins said in a calm but sad voice, gesturing for the three of them to sit. He sat opposite, with no desk between them as he thought it more personal. He couldn't help but feel pity for the boy sat in front of him, who had been in and out of St. Mungo's since he was nine. This was the worst part about being a Healer, having to inform a family that a routine check up had turned into something more serious.

Remus and his two parents sat quietly, staring and barely able to draw breath.

"We've got the test results back, and I'm afraid Remus has a condition called Luna Morbus." There was a small pause before he continued, watching their faces fall into expressions of fear mixed with confusion. "It's a condition that only affects werewolves. No one knows where it originates, there aren't enough wizards interested in doing research into illnesses affecting werewolves. However, we do know that it can only be passed on using a werewolf's bite, so the werewolf that bit you must also have this condition."

Healer Collins paused again, his eyes flitting between the three Lupin's, considering what information he should give them next.

"From the research we do have, it affects a quarter of the werewolf population, but that figure is rising. Currently there is only one treatment, however it is not a definite cure, unfortunately we have very little knowledge of this area." Again he paused, and this time Mr. Lupin spoke up.

"What exactly does the condition do to the...to the person," He swallowed uncomfortably. Beside him, Mrs. Lupin placed a comforting arm around her son, but her eyes were glassy.

Collins cleared his throat, "The condition seems to become apparent to an individual years after the original bite, although it varies widely in each case. The first symptom is that the transformations become more painful, increasing with each moon cycle, the immune system also starts to weaken. This leaves you more susceptible to harmful pathogens, but the risk can easily be minimised with a daily potion,"

"Secondly, the condition will begin to affect you when you're not transformed, leading to things such as dizziness, fainting, nausea, headaches and temporary memory loss and confusion." Healer Collins stopped, taking in the devastated expressions in front of him and felt the need to comfort them before he explained the third and final stage, "Of course the treatment we give you, another potion to be taken every morning, will slow the movement through these stages and can, in about half of cases, cure the problem altogether."

He met Remus's eyes for a moment before looking away with a small involuntary shudder, "Thirdly, the pain of the transformations begins to decrease once more as nerve cells begin to die, we don't yet know the cause is this, the person begins to get weaker over the coming transformations, and one moon..." The only reason he could bring himself to say it was because he knew Remus had to be prepared, "They don't change back."

Mrs. Lupin froze, arm tightly around her son, staring forward with a disbelieving expression and tears streaming down her face. Mr. Lupin scraped his chair over, the loud scratching noise sounding foreign in the quiet of the office, and placed a hand on his son's back.

Remus's face just showed shock, and he was the one to ask in a small, hoarse voice, "So if the treatment doesn't work as a cure, eventually, I'll...die?"

Before Healer Collins could say anything more, Remus continued, "How long...How long does it take?"

"No, not everyone dies," Collins said quickly, keen to get that idea out of the boy's mind, "Of those on the medication only about a quarter actually reach the third stage. But yes, most of those who do die within a few days, although some remain alive in their werewolf form for longer." His voice was soft, and he had a lump forming in his throat, "Our statistics aren't exact, and there isn't much research, but of those on medication the last quarter who don't recover and don't reach the third stage, just remain in the second stage for the rest of their lives."

Remus nodded, but none of their expressions showed anything close to relief.

"As for the length of time, I'm afraid that's also uncertain, it varies widely in cases. It's been known to take over forty years to reach the third stage, but it's also been known to take as little as three months."

Healer Collins's voice took on a suddenly more businesslike tone, "As we've now detected the condition we know it's starting to develop, so you can expect the transformations to start becoming more painful. You'll need to take the two potions daily, one for the condition and one to keep your immune system strong. I'll see you here for monthly appointments, in the week after each full moon to see how it's progressing. Hopefully it shouldn't interrupt your studying for your NEWTs."

"Thank you," Mr. Lupin told him hoarsely.

"I am so sorry," Collins replied sincerely, "But we've caught it early so there's a good chance it can be cured altogether. If you have any more questions..?"

After a short silence Remus spoke up, referring to Healer Collins by his first name, as he had from childhood, "Brian, how can the transformations get any more painful? I don't think I'll realise..."

Brian sighed, closing his eyes briefly. When he opened them he stared straight into Remus's eyes; they were open and devastated, and Brian knew he had to tell the truth.

"I'm sorry Remus, but you'll know. You'll definitely know."

* * *

He should have known it wouldn't last.

Emerald eyes stared up at him, unblinking, apologetic, and even a tiny bit fearful. But all he could do for that moment was stare back. She waited patiently.

Finally, when he recovered, he spoke, his voice hoarse, "I thought, well I thought we were...well friends now, more than friends..."

Lily blinked, and James didn't like the hint of pity that appeared in her eyes, "We are James," She insisted with a small smile, "Of course we are, I just..." She sighed, "You know how things have been between us over the past six years..."

"You think people will think that you finally gave in to my constant pestering," James accused.

Lily didn't reply, but the look on her face answered for her.

"Well it's sort of true," James continued with a growing grin.

"No," Lily's eyes sparkled playfully now, "I just learnt that you're not always an insensitive, arrogant prat. At least when you're not at school."

James's expression was mock wounded for a moment before he became more serious, "So you still want to keep it a secret?"

"Yes, just for a little while, I don't want to ruin this. Everyone will be whispering about us."

"I didn't think you cared about mindless gossip."

"I don't" Lily insisted, a little exasperated, "But I don't want it interfering just yet."

After studying her face for a second he nodded, "Ok, I understand. But I can still tell Sirius, Remus and Peter, right? As long as they promise not to..."

James trailed off as he saw the look on Lily's face. Ever since they'd run into one another in Diagon Alley at the start of the summer, James couldn't believe his luck. Lily had come to the Alley on her own, needing a book for Potions coursework which she'd wanted to get done as soon as she could. When James saw her on her own, on his own trip with his parents to try and convince them to buy him a new broom, he'd insisted he accompany her.

She couldn't bring herself to insult him and walk away, as was commonplace, in front of his parents and their slightly knowing smiles. She also felt, against her own rational judgement, a little flattered that he wanted to accompany her. So they'd spent the say together.

Since then, over the summer, they'd began sending owls back and forth, meeting in the Alley, and , very occasionally, Muggle London. Somewhere along the way they'd crossed the line from friendship into something else. James didn't think it'd be long before he worked up the courage to actually kiss her.

Lily didn't say anything, waiting for his inevitable next words.

"I can't keep this a secret from them. One, they'd notice if I kept sneaking off to see you. Two, they'll notice if I suddenly stop pestering you. Three...er, three...well we don't have any secrets. It's been hard enough not saying anything over the summer."

"Please James, I know it'll be a little bit difficult, but it won't be forever." Her face was open and sincere, "Please just give us a chance."

James sighed, leant forward slowly and pressed a light kiss to her lips. As he pulled away her lips opened into an uncontrollable smile.

"Of course," He nodded.

* * *

This was the worst thing that had ever happened to him.

Admittedly, he thought that every time something bad, worse than being caught and given three detentions in one week, happened. But currently, wandering lost around Knockturn Alley, it seemed like one of the worst things that had happened to him in a while.

"Look here my dear, a selection of charmed objects for your enemies," Peter hurried on quickly, keeping his head down. The witch was now offering another witch a teapot which would brew tea that if drunk would cause your limbs to work as if they had a mind of their own, and fight against you.

Things couldn't get worse, he'd been trailing around for an hour after wandering from Diagon Alley by mistake when he'd not been paying attention. He knew going off to Flourish and Blotts on his own while his Mother and Uncle had a coffee was a mistake.

Peter groaned as he saw someone walking towards him in the Alley, wrapped in a dark cloak with his head down. He had, as his Muggle father used to say, jinxed it. Everything had just got much worse.

Severus Snape spotted Peter with a quickly covered look of faint surprise, turning it into a sneer.

"Pettigrew," He spat, looking down at the shorter boy.

"Snivellus," Peter squeaked.

"What're you doing here?" Snape sneered, "Without your precious blood traitor friends to protect you."

Peter really didn't want to tell Snape that he was hopelessly lost. Snape was into the dark arts, and the way Sirius and James had bullied him over the past six years made it extremely unlikely that he'd help. So he said the first thing that popped into his head, "I don't need protecting."

Snape's mouth spread into a grimace which Peter supposed was an attempt at a grin, "Of course not," Snape replied silkily, "You know Pettigrew, there are people out there who would appreciate your...loyalty." Then Snape walked away, tilting his head down once more so his face was shrouded in shadow.

Peter continued to wander the area for another half an hour before he found the way out, twice offered a cursed necklace by the same wizard, and all the time unable to keep his thoughts away from the type of people Snape referred to.

* * *

He woke when the sunlight tinted the back of his eyelids red. He opened his eyes, as he always did in his flat, to sunlight streaming in through the window. However, usually there wasn't someone else in the room with him, standing at the foot of the bed, pulling a crumpled t-shirt over his head.

He looked a similar age to Sirius, with shaggy brown hair, and when he saw Sirius was awake he smirked sheepishly. Sirius could do nothing but blink dumbly back, memories of how he could have got into this situation either extremely blurred or inaccessible.

"I have to go to work," The young man said, still smirking, but it was friendly, "I've left my number on the table just in case," He laughed slightly at the expression on Sirius's face, "Don't worry about calling me, I had a great night. See you around Sirius."

Within moments he was gone, and the door clicked shut much too loudly. Sirius still stared forwards in utter confusion. What had happened? Well that part was obvious really, but he couldn't quite comprehend it. Had his drunken brain decided it was time to experiment? Again tacks itself onto the end of that thought. Kissing David at a party at Christmas had been a mistake, a drunken mistake, his brain didn't work properly on alcohol. He'd been grateful that nobody saw, and that David had let it go easily, without a word to anyone.

Memories started to seep back. The night before hadn't been bad, quite the opposite in fact. But he wasn't gay. If he was he'd know by now.

Currently, staring up at the ceiling, Sirius wasn't so sure. He'd been drinking a lot lately, a little lonely being cut off from the wizarding world, going out to the Muggle bars, maybe he just needed to cut down.

He got up slowly because of his pounding head, pulling on some boxers before setting off to the kitchen in search of some breakfast. He pointedly ignored the little scrap of paper with scribbled black numbers, which sat innocently on the table.


End file.
